Lots of Jokes - Enjoy our massive collection of dirty jokes, clean jokes, funny pictures and videos!

We've got jokes, funny pictures, videos, comics and more!

About Lots of Jokes Link To Us Contact Lots of Jokes Your Boss Is Coming!!! Bookmark and Share Follow lotsofjokes on Twitter

Funny Videos Funny Pictures Fortune Cookies Win Contest Latest Jokes Submit Joke Find Jokes Upload Videos User Feedback

General to moderately strong content.
Arkansas Etiquette Category

Arkansas Etiquette


Some Arkansas etiquette tips... My apologies to friends from Texas, North Carolina, West Virginia, and other parts of the country who may feel left out.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewellery and alter the taste of finger foods.

DINING OUT

When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.

DATING (Outside the Family)

Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested "I've been wanting to go out with you since........
Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 1000 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE ETIQUETTE

Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back soft drinks and a candy bar.
Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

Never take a beer to a job interview.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.


Previous Page Email Joke to a Friend

 





 

 


Lots of Jokes Funny Features Top Rated Jokes Popular Jokes
About Us
Contact Us
User Feedback
Contest
Advertise
Welcome
Link To Us
Find Jokes
Funny Videos
Funny Pictures
Funny Comics
Submit Jokes
Latest Jokes
Fortune Cookies
Dirty Jokes
Celebrity Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Tasteless Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Classic Jokes
Naughty Jokes
Top Ten Lists
Kids Jokes
Tasteless Jokes

Copyright © 2017 Luckytool, LLC. All rights reserved. Lots of Jokes™ is a trademark of Luckytool, LLC. Contents is protected by international copyright laws. Unauthorized copying or duplication in any form is strictly prohibited without the prior written consent of Luckytool, LLC. Use of Lots of Jokes acknowledges your acceptance to our terms and conditions, DMCA notice and privacy policy.