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Birthday Jokes |
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Did you hear about the tree's birthday? It was a sappy one! Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles! "I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that?" "That's where I invite a bunch of your friends, and if any of them come, I'll be surprised!" Did you hear about the dancer's birthday? It was a tappy one! How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ice cream. Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday! What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course! Did you hear about the flag's birthday? It was a Happy one! "My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?" "Did you go shopping for my birthday present?" "Yeah, and I found the perfect thing." "What thing is that?" "Nothing!" Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks! Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife! Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue! Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. "I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted." "Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?" "Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!" It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk." What is your favourite type of birthday present? Another present! What did the birthday balloon say to the pin? "Hi, Buster." How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party! Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake! What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
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