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Blonde Jokes



Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A1: They can't find the zipper. A2: They cant find the pull tab.

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jelly? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school? A: She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Manuever.

Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.

Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus VAT

Q: Why do blondes drive VWs? A: Because they can spell it.

''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the blonde. ''No,'' said the brunette. ''Okay,'' said the blonde, ''you start.''

Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!

Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What did the blonde's dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity.

Q: What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ? A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names ?!!?"

A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L." The bartender says, "What's an M L?" The brunette says, "A Miller Light." Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L" The bartender says, "What's a B L?" She says, "Bud Light." A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15." The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?" The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"

Q: Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time. ''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''

Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job? A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"

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