ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering
Techniques
DODGE
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive
EDSEL
Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO
Good Engineering Overlooked
GM
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO
Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Just Empty Every Pocket
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG
Money Guzzler
MGB
Might Go Backwards
MGF
Might Go Forward
MIATA
My Intention Always To Accelerate
MOPAR
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover
Equipment
old ladies driving slowly making other behind insanely late everyday
PINTO
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PLYMOUTH
Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood
PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
 
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