Celebrity Jokes II

Q. What's the difference between Bill and Monica.
A. One can't come clean and the other one can't clean cum.

Q. What's Monica's favorite instrument?
A. She's good at the piano, but she sucks at the organ!

Q. How will everyone remember Bill Clinton in history?
A. The President after Bush

Q. What's the new game there playing in the White House?
A. Swallow the Leader

Q. Have you heard about Michael Jackson's new book?
A. It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"

Q. What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. Get out of my sun!

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
A. Got two fives for a ten?

Q. How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. By putting a plunger in the toilet.

Q. What is the name of Helen Keller's dog?
A. Nyah, nyu, yuh, yah.

Q. What is forty feet long and has eight teeth?
A. The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Q. What did Chelsea say when Hillary asked if she had sex yet?
A. "Not according to Dad."

Q. What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa Claus?
A. Some people still believe in Santa Claus.

Q. What's the difference between Hillary and Bill?
A. Hillary doesn't get caught.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A. The greyhounds wait for the hairs to come out.

Q. What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?
A. The Spice Girls!

Q. What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A. His face.

Q. What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A. One has two boobs, the others *are* two boobs.

Q. How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet?
A. They were dating the same girl in high school.

Q. Bill and Hillary and Al and Tipper takes a boat ride, the boat capsizes, who gets saved?
A. The United States of America!

Q. What does Hillary do after she shaves her pussy every morning?
A. Sends him to work!

Q. Why did all the faggots vote for Clinton?
A. Because faggots like assholes better than Bush.

Q. Why doesn't Bill like old houses?
A. He's afraid of the draft.

Q. When will there be a woman in the White House?
A. When Hillary leaves town.

Q. What does JFK Jr. miss most about Martha's Vineyard?
A. The runway.

Q. What was JFK Jr. drinking at the time of the crash?
A. Ocean Spray.

Q. How did JFK Jr. learn how to fly?
A. He took a crash course.

Q. What will it take to bring the Kennedy family back together?
A. One more mishap!

Q. Hear about Kennedy Airlines?
A. Their motto is "Your luggage will arrive before you do!"

Q. What has four legs and no ears?
A. Mike Tyson's dog.

Q. Why does Hillary always get on top?
A. Bill can only screw up.

Q. Did you hear about the latest JFK Jr. movie?
A. Its called Three Funerals and a Wedding.

Q. Why didn't JFK Jr. and his wife have a shower before getting on the plane?
A. They figured they would wash up on shore!

Q. What do you get when you cross Raquel Welch with Santa Claus?
A. A thank you from Santa!

Q. What does Woody Allen call an unborn baby?
A. A blind date.

Q. Did you see Dolly Parton's new shoes?
A. Neither did she.

Q. What's brown and half eaten?
A. The Queen Mothers Easter egg.

Q. What's the difference between Michael and Connie Chung?
A. Michael's been able to have kids.

Q. What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A. So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!

Q. What's the first problem the Michael's child will have in life?
A. Figuring out which parent is his mother.

Q. What makes Michael Jackson so unique?
A. It's the little boy inside him.

Q. How did Michael get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson scream?
A. Because it hurts.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
A. Neil walked the moon, Michael Jackson... fucked little boys.

Q. Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new band?
A. It's called the Jackson Five and Under.

Q. What did Saddam say when he came out of his hole?
A. Did I beat David Blaine?

Q. What did the woman tell Michael Jackson at the beach?
A. Get out of my son!

Q. Why does Michael Jackson like twenty six year olds?
A. Cause there's twenty of them.

Q. What does Michael Jackson and a Nintendo have in common?
A. They are both made of plastic and kids turn them on.

Q. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
A. Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Q. What will Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both be getting for Christmas?
A. Patrick Swayze