Ever wonder why
the chicken crossed the road?
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
BILL CLINTON: That depends on what your definition of "did" is.
GEORGE BUSH JR: I don't know, but I'll tell you this: That chicken
may run, but it can't hide. God bless America.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've
not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
FOX MULDER: Did you actually see it cross the road? Or did you
suddenly notice that it had appeared on the other side? You think
you saw it cross the road, but that's an illusion. How many more
chickens have to appear before you believe it?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken Millenium Edition, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book, and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: What color was the chicken? If you do your
research, you will find that it was a white chicken. Roads are
always black. The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the
"other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And, if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and
simple as that.
COLONEL SANDERS: You mean I missed one?!