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Classified Ads Category

Classified Ads


The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in newspapers...

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG. 

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer 

AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED. 

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS. 

FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART STUPID DOG 

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15 

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800 

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE. 

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000 

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15 

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents 

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE. 

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL. 

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME. 

FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50 

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED *************CALL CHUBBIE 

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS" 

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS 

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT..BEEN OUT AWHILE.. BETTER BE REWARD. 

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!" 

GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER. 

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB 

GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb. 

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED 

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT. 

AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100 

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR. 

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175. 

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER. 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300. 

LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY. 

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER 

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.


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