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English Ain't Easy

English Ain't Easy


So, you think English is easy, huh? Read to the end and see if you still think so.

1. The  bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce  produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was  painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20. How can I intimate this  to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


You lovers of the English language might enjoy this...

There is  a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that  is 
'UP'

It's easy to understand
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a  meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ? 

We  call UP our friends. And we use it to  brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble,  line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses..  To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. 

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be  opened UP because  it is stopped UP. We  open UP a store in the morning but we close  it UP at night. 

We seem  to be pretty  mixed 
UP about UP.  To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can  add UP to about thirty definitions. If you  are UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of  the many ways UP is used.  It will take UP a lot of  your time, but if you don't give UP, you may  wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When  the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP ...

When  it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. 

When it  doesn't rain for awhile, things dry 
UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it 
UP , for now  my time is UP ,  so... it is time to shut UP!


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