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Latest Jokes |
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After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare. What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film! What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben? He found time-consuming. What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out? He ate the dentist. What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on, the dentist is taking us out tonight. Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath. Why do you forget a tooth, as soon as the dentist pulls it out? Because it goes right out of your head. Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose. Fan: I've always admired you. Are your teeth your own? Actor: Whose do you think they are? What did the vampire call his false teeth? A new fangled device. What happened to the man who put his false teeth in backwards? He ate himself! Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed? To catch her false teeth. A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall. "Oh, dear," he said, "whatever shall I do? I can't afford a new set." "Don't worry," said his friend. "I'll get a pair from my brother for you." The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly. "This is wonderful," said the man. "Your brother must be a very good dentist." "Oh, he's not a dentist," replied the friend, "he's an undertaker." Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence. Q: Why do blondes stand under light bulbs? A: It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea. ... Q.) Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A.) Because red means Stop. Q.) What would you call a bunch of blondes stacked on top of each other? A.) An air mattress. Q: Why don't blondes like buttered toast? A: They can't figure out which side the butter goes on. When a blonde goes to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat ? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row
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