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Latest Jokes |
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This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?" Redmond, WA --Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be delayed until the second quarter of 1901. What do computers eat when they get hungry? Chips. What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something. Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up. How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray. What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off. Why did the witch lose her way? Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction. Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat? To keep her head warm. Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No, but I can pick it up. What do you call a witch who kills her mother and father? An orphan. What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed. What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom-mates. What do witches ring for in a hotel? B-room service. Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off? Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize! The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir." "What d'you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said 'is that you, you old fool?" Mother: Why was the phone busy all night? Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold. Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET ! Who was that on the phone, Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down ! After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!
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