1. MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER
THAN THE EMPLOYEES These kind of managers you will always see in the
corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them
say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
2. MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF
THE WINDOW These managers you usually meet with their backside faced
to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them,
their thoughts keep staring out of the windows.
3. MANAGING BY POST-ITS� Some
managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness
by continuously writing on Post-Its� while you are talking.
4. MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE
SECRETARY These managers just delegate everything to the secretary.
5. MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give
answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with irrelevant anecdotes.
6. MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL
THINKING These people try to explain the present from a theoretical
view of the far future. The idea that this never will work,
completely satisfies them. They will always have something to talk
about.
7. MANAGING BY HIDING
INFORMATION Information hiders are aware of the market value of
strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get
any information at all.
8. MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY
WHAT THE BOSS SAYS These managers prevent their bosses from creative
thinking. Else they have more work to do.
9. MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT
BEHIND THE BOSS In hierarchical organizations you can watch those
groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly
followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
10. MANAGING BY SMILING AND
WEARING NICE SUITS If you drink beer with them, lunch with them,
smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career
anymore.
11. MANAGING BY STUDYING Despite
their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses,
they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further
they get from the practice.
12. MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE
OVERHEAD SHEETS Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,
boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their
overall brilliance.
13. MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND
EMPTY ROOM This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR'
management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you
want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
14. MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH
OTHER MANAGERS This kind of managing is very popular. It will give
them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell
them in 15 minutes.
15. MANAGING BY HAVING A NON
SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE In an organization with a hopeless
infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will
naturally prevent the organization from having a better
infrastructure.
16. BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING
ABBREVIATIONS ) This management style is ATRASACWOC ( Adopted To
Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication ).
17. MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly
undefined, terms.
18. MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
19. MANAGING BY BELIEVING These
managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at
all.
20. MANAGING BY FORGETTING
PROMISES If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority
of that promise is too low to remember.
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