These aren't necessarily jokes, but they are
so weird that you'll probably just start laughing after you read
them anyway. That is until you start racking your brain trying to
figure out how they work out how they do!
3 guys go for dinner, each buys a $10 steak.
At the end of the meal, they collect $30 between the three of them
to cover the cost of the meals and gives it to the waitress. She
goes back to the cash register, where the overlooking manager says
"Those dinners are discounted, you need to give them $5
back." So the waitress gets the five dollars, and returns to
the table. Not knowing how to split $5 between the three of them,
she gives 1 dollar to each of the three patrons, and kept two for
herself.
Now if you do the math, together they paid $30, got $3 back meaning
they only paid $27. The waitress kept $2. This totals $29. Where did
the last dollar go?
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at
what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for
work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days
off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend
16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving
only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee
break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days
available.
With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up
another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You
normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only
20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year,
so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously
give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for
work and I'll be damned if you are going to take that day off!
Depending on how you ask the questions, you
can force the answer you seek! Remember 43% of polls are wrong, the
other 78% are made up! Don't jump to the answer, just scroll down.
Take this test mentally, don't write down your answers, and don't
shout them out.
1. Pick a number from 2 to 9. It can be 2 or it can be 9, or any
number in between.
2. Take that number that you've chosen, and multiply it by 9.
3. That should give you a two digit number. Take those two digits
and add them together.
4. Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it.
5. Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the
letters. A =1, B=2, C=3, and so on...
6. Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that
letter.
7. Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an
animal.
8. Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think
of a color.
9. But remember, that there are no orange kangaroos in Denmark.

