Things on the love landscape sure have
changed over the years...
SAMPLE OF A MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dearest Samantha,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you
since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August
2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective
lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less
than three months and depending on compatibility, would be made
permanent.
Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous
relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up
to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee
and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of
the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of,
on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this
letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further
notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if
you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to
take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours sincerely, Max
MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dear Max,
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you
that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.
However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions of
acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However,
please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should
be generous.
I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with
regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of
retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should
receive monetary compensation according to union standards.
Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree that an
expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the
'VIP'. I shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport
allowances should be in order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in
order.
Please also note that there should be no moonlighting restrictions
placed on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship,
please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have
sent indications of interest.
Please also note that my sister is happily employed.
Yours perhaps, Samantha!
 
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