The following are the top four winners from
a "Most Embarrassing Moments" contest:
1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right
now,'
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and
said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the
last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in
tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter."
2. "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to
my
girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we
didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on
and a whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire
family--aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends
were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of
shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise
party again."
3. "One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at
a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she
learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her
embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out
for all the store to
hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was
bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a business like
tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND
YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A
HAMMER?'"
4. "This one actually happened at Harvard University in October of
this year in a biology class; the professor was discussing the high
glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her
hand and asked, 'If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of
glucose in male semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct,' responded the
professor, going
on to add statistical information. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence,
the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned
bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently
said (or rather implied), she picked up her books with out a word
and walked out of class...and
never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the
Professor's reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered
her question, 'It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for
sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your
throat.''
 
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