You watched "Mallrats" and said "I've been to
At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.
You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.
You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.
You know that the only people that call it "Joisey" are from New
You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one
You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges"
You know that it's called "Great Adventure"... not "Six Flags",
You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a
supermarket, but actual individual stores.
You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
One time, a sea gull shit on your head.
You've eaten at a diner, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while
You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.
You once said, "It smells like New York in here,"
You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!
In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.
You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.
You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if
the Nets didn't blow,"
You say "water" weird. (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever)
Even your school made good Italian subs.
You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have
never seen a tornado or earthquake.
You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.
You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros.
You only go to New York City for day trips.
You've run out of money on the Parkway.
You know where to get the best bagel.
You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any
restaurants in New Jersey.
There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin'
You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.
You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.
The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local
Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May
You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hr diners elsewhere in
You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls
Someone at the beach once called you a benny
You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils
You have or know someone with mafia connections too
You're related to someone who thinks the New York Jets should be
called the New Jersey Jets
You have at least one friend who drives a truck
You've been camping
You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than
You've been to a party in the woods
You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown
You liked the Jets even before this season
You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese
sandwich at 2 a.m.
You don't take shit from no one either
You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there
At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of
Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station
Anything less than three inches of snow ain't shit
Someone cut you off on the road and you told them to go fuck
You think people from South Jersey talk funny
You're radioactive and proud of it.