World records that you wont find in the
Guinness Book of Records...
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in
Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits
and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely
insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and
projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.
WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk
is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night
and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained
bull
semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains
tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard
and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon
(unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt
Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of
seminal fluid. Healso hold the records for the greatest height (12
ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity,
with 42.7mph.
LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who
produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was
officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134
washrooms
in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an
officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
 
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