Lots of Jokes - Enjoy our massive collection of dirty jokes, clean jokes, funny pictures and videos!

We've got jokes, funny pictures, videos, comics and more!

About Lots of Jokes Link To Us Contact Lots of Jokes Your Boss Is Coming!!! Bookmark and Share Follow lotsofjokes on Twitter

Funny Videos Funny Pictures Fortune Cookies Win Contest Latest Jokes Submit Joke Find Jokes Upload Videos User Feedback

Warning - Language & Content
Parent Definitions Category

Parent Definitions


Words that you or I would commonly use for one meaning, have a completely different meaning to parents in a family...

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too.

DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words.

WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".


You may also like... Corporate Definitions
Hotel Translations
Phrase Translations
Cat Translations
Translating Personals

Previous Page Email Joke to a Friend

 





 

 


Lots of Jokes Funny Features Top Rated Jokes Popular Jokes
About Us
Contact Us
User Feedback
Contest
Advertise
Welcome
Link To Us
Find Jokes
Funny Videos
Funny Pictures
Funny Comics
Submit Jokes
Latest Jokes
Fortune Cookies
Dirty Jokes
Celebrity Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Political Jokes
Religious Jokes
Tasteless Jokes
Bar Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Redneck Jokes
Classic Jokes
Naughty Jokes
Top Ten Lists
Kids Jokes
Tasteless Jokes

Copyright © 2017 Luckytool, LLC. All rights reserved. Lots of Jokes™ is a trademark of Luckytool, LLC. Contents is protected by international copyright laws. Unauthorized copying or duplication in any form is strictly prohibited without the prior written consent of Luckytool, LLC. Use of Lots of Jokes acknowledges your acceptance to our terms and conditions, DMCA notice and privacy policy.