These are actual police officer quotes
collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."