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Sex Workout Category

Sex Workout


Having sex is yet another great past time for burning up those unwanted fat producing calories...
 

REMOVING CLOTHES  
With partner's consent... 12 calories
Without partner's consent... 187 calories
   
UNHOOKING BRA  
Using two calm hands... 7 calories
Using one trembling hand... 36 calories
   
GETTING INTO BED  
Lifting partner... 1.5 calories
Dragging partner along floor... 16 calories
Using skateboard... 3 calories
   
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS  
For normal healthy man... 2.5 calories
Losing erection... 14 calories
Searching for it... 115 calories
   
PUTTING ON CONDOM  
With erection... 1.5 calories
Without erection... 300 calories
   
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM  
If the woman who does it is:  
Experienced... 6 calories
Inexperienced... 73 calories
If a man does it... 650 calories
Add five calories for retrieving it from across the room.  
   
POSSIBLE INTERCOURSE SIDE EFFECTS  
Bouncing... 7 calories
Sliding around... 9 calories
Serious skidding... 12 calories
Whiplash... 27 calories
   
ORGASM  
Real... 27 calories
Faked... 160 calories
   
ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE  
Shoes flew off... 35 calories
Expression didn't change... 0.5 calories
Orchestra swelled... 6 calories
Birds sang:  
Large birds... 7 calories
Small birds... 3 calories
Earth moved... 30 calories
   
PULLING OUT  
After orgasm... 0.5 calories
A few moments before orgasm... 500 calories
   
PENIS ENVY  
For woman... 3 calories
For men... 72 calories
   
GUILT  
Banging your boss for a promotion... 30 calories
Sex during a 'sickie'... 10 calories
Bonking each other with parents in other room... 7 calories
Putting it on your expense account... 9 calories
   
AGGRAVATION  
Partner keeps showing plant... 5 calories
Partner insists on dog cuddling during foreplay... 14 calories
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time... 10 calories
Partner is taking phone calls... 7 calories
Partner is making phone calls... 40 calories
   
GETTING CAUGHT  
By partner's spouse... 60 calories
By your spouse... 100 calories
Trying to explain... 55 calories
Trying to remain calm... 100 calories
Leaping out of bed... 75 calories
Getting dressed in one motion... 500 calories

 


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