Signs Of The Times

Apartment building sign:
"No baby carriages or foreign cars allowed in the lobby."

Bar sign:
"Lunch now being poured."

Chinese Laundry sign:
"We don't tear your clothes with clumsy machinery - we do it carefully by hand."

Church sign:
"You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, you can ignore this notice."

Divorce Lawyer's door:
"Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back."

Miss Piggy's sign:
"Never eat more than you can lift."

Newspaper headline:
"County officials talk rubbish."

Plumber's sign:
"Do it yourself. Then call us before it's too late."

Psychiatrist advertisement:
"A cure guaranteed or your mania back."

Restaurant Diner sign:
"Everything comes to him who orders hash."

Restaurant Sign:
"Our tongue sandwiches speak for themselves."

Scottish Golf Course sign:
"Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling."

Teamwork sign:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream."

Truck sign:
"Pass with care - I chew tobacco."

Orthopedic Surgeon sign:
"Never accept a drink from a urologist."

Taxidermist sign:
"If called by a panther, don't anther."