"This should be taken care of right
I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and
profitable that I want to fix it before it curse itself.
"Welllllll, what have we here..."
Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is
hoping you will give him a clue.
First I have to check my malpractice insurance.
"Let me check your medical history."
I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more
time with you.
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
I need the money, so I'm charging you for another office visit.
"I really can't recommend seeing a chiropractor."
I hate those guys mooching in on our fees.
Since he hasn't the faintest idea of what to do, he is trying to
appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt.
(Proctologist also say this a lot.)
"We have some good news and some bad news."
The good news is he's going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news is
you're going to pay for it.
"Let's see how it develops."
Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
"Let me schedule you for some tests."
I have a 40% interest in the lab.
"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a small fortune.
"How are we today?"
I feel great. You, on the other hand, look like hell.
"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea.
"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."
I don't know what the hell it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
I think I'm going to throw up.
"This may smart a little."
Last week two patients bit through their tongues.
"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?"
I can't remember your name, nor why you are here.
"This should fix you up."
The drug salesman guaranteed that it kills all symptoms.
"Everything seems to be normal."
I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.
"I'd like to run some more tests."
I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve
"Do you suppose all of this stress could be affecting your
He thinks you are crazy and is hoping to find a psychiatrist who
will split fees.
"Why don't you slip out of your things."
I don't enjoy this any more than you do, but I've got to warm my
fingers up somehow.
"If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment."
I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thank God I'm off next
"There is a lot of that going around."
My God, that's the third one this week. I'd better learn something