You know you watch too much tennis when you break up
with your girlfriend before every Grand Slam.
You know you watch too much tennis when you walk in late to class, and
you ask the teacher to check shot spot to see if your foot was in the
classroom when the bell rang.
You know you play too much tennis when you have an outfit for every
racquet you own.
You know you play too much tennis when you hold your pencil with an
eastern grip.
You know you watch too much tennis when you have the brand of your
racquet stamped on everything you own.
You know you play too much tennis when you yell "C'mon" every time you
ever succeed in the smallest task.
You know you play too much tennis when you have to hide all the racquets
and balls from your wife or girlfriend.
You know you play too much tennis when you take out your anger on your
wife or girlfriend, siblings, sons/daughters, grandparents, grandsons,
nephews, cousins, niece, and anyone related to you that I forgot.
You know you play too much tennis when you talk to yourself aloud during
a test to pump you up.
You know you watch too much tennis when you have the calendar marked for
all the tournaments for the next 5 years.
You know you watch too much tennis when you think about what every sport
would be like with a racquet.
You know you watch too much tennis when you can impersonate every
player.
You know you watch too much tennis when you can name top 100 players but
can't remember your kids names.
You know you watch too much tennis when you keep track of every
statistic of every player, and their ranking and ranking points but
can't ace Statistics in school.
You know you watch too much tennis when you name your kids after pros.
You know you play too much tennis when you overhead smash your kid
brother.
You know you play too much tennis when you call the line judge whenever
there is an argument.
You know you play too much tennis when instead of fighting someone who
stole your girlfriend; you challenge him to a pro-set match.
You know you play too much tennis when you are sitting on the court
right now with a laptop reading this.
You know you watch too much tennis when you are taking an exam, and you
are drawing out the draws to the next tournament.
You know you watch too much tennis when you already know how many
tournaments every player needs to win to obtain certain ranking
You know you play too much tennis when there are holes in your house
because of you hitting balls in the house.
You know you play too much tennis when you shuffle and side step when
moving from place to place.
You know you play too much tennis when you practice your swing with an
imaginary racquet at least 5 times an hour.
You know you play too much tennis when you hold your racquet when you
sleep.
You know you play too much tennis when you show random people on the
streets all the grips.
 
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