Dear _________________,
Thank you for leaving [ ] tooth/teeth under your pillow
last night.
While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case
of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your
request for the following reason(s) indicated below:
( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy
for appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the
tooth fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was
received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the
time of our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not
satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as
follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other reason
Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near
you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you
in the future.
Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy
 
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