Never take life seriously.
Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection make him
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but
you still can't
help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?