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Battle of the Sexes Category

Battle of the Sexes


The Last 11 Things Any Man Would Ever Say:

  • I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
  • While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
  • I think hairy butts are really sexy.
  • Her tits are just too big.
  • Sometimes I just want to be held.
  • That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
  • Sure I'd love to wear a condom!
  • We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
  • Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Murphy Brown.
  • I think we are lost, we better pull over and ask for directions
  • No, I don't mind watching Thelma and Louise again.

The Perfect Day According to ... HIM

10:00am Wake up
10:02am Oral sex
10:15am Big breakfast
11:30am Drive up the coast in Ferrari with gorgeous blonde with big jugs
2:15pm Enormous lunch
3:00pm Oral sex
3:15pm Play sports with the guys
4:00pm Drink beer with guys
6:00pm Meet Claudia Schiffer
6:10pm Oral sex
6:25pm Huge dinner, more beer
11:00pm Full on, get down, gorilla sex

 

 

The Last 11 Things Any Woman Would Ever Say:

  • Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
  • Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
  • I think hairy butts are really sexy.
  • Hey, get a whiff of that one.
  • Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
  • This diamond is way too big!
  • I don't mind throwing all these useless shoes out.
  • I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
  • Wow, it really is 14 inches!
  • Does this make my butt look too small?
  • I'm wrong, you must be right again.

The Perfect Day According to ... HER

8:45am Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00am 5 pounds lighter on the scale
9:30am Light breakfast
11:00am Sunbathe
12:00pm Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:30pm Shopping
2:30pm Run into boyfriends ex, notice she's gained 30 pounds
3:00pm Facial massage and nap
7:30pm Candle light dinner for two and dancing
10:00pm Make love
11:00pm Pillow talk in his big strong arms

 


HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her,   support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked, with beer....


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