Things not to say to a cop when you're
I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!
On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
Yeah you can see my license and registration,
officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?
Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph
(200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be
a Police Officer.
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school
"Bad Cop! No Donut!"
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars
around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
"Lets do it different this time... I will give you the
breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"
Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only
gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with
your gun when you were little?
Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video
Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to
work at McDonalds?
Hey, you look like that girl I fucked a few
Aren't you one of the Village People?
Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your