Test Yourself : Are you a Neanderthal?
1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? +5
2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? -5
3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, +3
4. How about a forehead? If not, +3
5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? +5
6. Do you ever open beer bottles with your teeth? +10
7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than
sitting in a chair? +5
8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, +1 for
every five degrees of slope.
9. Less than five feet tall? +1 for every inch under.
10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm,+1 for every
inch of difference.
11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs.
12. Pigeon-toed? +5
13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club?
You're normal--no points.
14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough
to hold an apple? +5
15. Do you regularly eat apples in this fashion? +15
16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're
17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an
18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or
0-20 points: You are a virtually pure homosapien. Feel free to build
bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world.
20-40 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will
occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on
all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one
40-60 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world,
but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give
60-80 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should
consider a career in pro football.
80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City;
there is no place for you in human society. A career in politics is