Many romantic languages (Italian,
Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In French,
for example, this determines whether you use "la" or "le" in front of
the noun. If English designated things as either male or female,
here are a few of our recommendations...
COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong
buttons are pushed.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you
have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to
the bottom.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in
pairs.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But
consider � it gives a man pleasure. He'd be lost without it. Lastly
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
trying.
SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its
tongue hanging out.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick
people up.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful
for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening
bottles.
TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you
can always see right through them.
 
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