MEMORANDUM
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to
complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however realize the critical importance
of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating
with coworkers, therefore, a list of preferred new phrases has been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more
sensitive employees.
PREFERRED: Perhaps I can work late
OLD: When the fuck do you expect me to do this?
PREFERRED: Perhaps you should check with...
OLD: Tell someone who gives a shit
PREFERRED: Of course I'm concerned
OLD: Ask me if I give a shit
PREFERRED: I wasn't involved in that project
OLD: Its not my fucking problem
PREFERRED: I'm not sure I can implement this
OLD: Fuck it, it won't work
PREFERRED: I'll try to schedule that
OLD: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner
PREFERRED: Are you sure this is a problem
OLD: Who the fuck cares
PREFERRED: He's not familiar with the problem
OLD: He's got his head up his ass
PREFERRED: So you weren't happy with it?
OLD: Kiss my ass
PREFERRED: I'm a bit overloaded at this moment
OLD: Fuck it, I'm on salary
PREFERRED: I don't think you understand
OLD: Shove it up your ass
PREFERRED: I love a challenge
OLD: This job sucks
PREFERRED: I see
OLD: Blow me
PREFERRED: Yes, we really should discuss it
OLD: Another fucking meeting!!!!
PREFERRED: I don't think this will be a problem
OLD: I really don't give a shit
PREFERRED: He's somewhat insensitive
OLD: He's a fucking prick
PREFERRED: She's an aggressive go getter
OLD: She's a ball busting bitch
PREFERRED: I think you could use more training
OLD: You don't know what the fuck you're doing
 
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