Here's a little clarification of
typical vacant job listing lingo...
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself
to your co-workers.
SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:
...who still live with their parents and won't mind our
internship-level salaries.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple
of the real daring guys wear ear rings.
JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:
We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:
Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like
philosophy or English.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal
formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and
then do it.
 
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